"There are vampires and vampires, and not all of them suck blood"

"[T]he philosopher's stone... that was the pebble on the seashore
(Newton) really wanted to find..."

     ---Fritz Leiber, modern author


Journal Entry # 1 July 1st, 2015:
I'm not a vampire, but my experimentations with
longevity medication (I only took 1 pill so far, as per my
principle of efficiency), have put me, tentatively at least, one
step closer to achieving the vampire dream of immortality.

Unfortunately, the medication I took contained a substance
called astragula, which reduces resistance to dependency
to drugs (luckily, I had heard this fact from a nutritionist),
and some portions of the drug were apparently addictive.

[Later Note: the drink called Jule of the Orient also contains the negative
ingredient called astragula].

However, I managed to quit after one pill (the evidence being that I
threw away the rest of the bottle), and am now
looking for a better company that sells a similar herbal
supplement with fewer negative side-effects.

So, let that be a lesson to you not to take a large dose of
any strange medications!




"Both medicine and 'vampirism' are part of the same phenomenon
in terms of immortality: they both involve a dependence."

---The Dimensional Immortality Toolkit

Journal Entry #2 Oct. 23rd, 2015:
I recall a time when I
almost had sex with a young woman who called herself
Cate Sample. She said that if we had sex, we would
probably have to go to the hospital, because she had a
disorder called hemophilia that caused excessive bleeding.
I still don't know if there's any connection between the
modern disorder of hemophilia and real vampirism. At
least I have not had any Marquis d' Sade experiences...
I can give myself points for being that close to being
an immortal vampire, however, that someone I knew
had hemophilia, and wanted to get that close...

(She seemed to want to have sex because I gave her
a compliment, and because her disorder prevented her
from having sex very often...)

Journal Entry #3 Oct 27th, 2015:

On the subject of obscure medicine similar to literary ambergris.

'Less of a comedy' seems to give stomach ache and gas. (They thought
nobility was the solution, but it leads to indulgences...) Bad words could
gradually be pruned out...Words like 'macanaw' might provide an answer, but
they are artificial.

'Lesse magesty' might be the counterspell to 'Less of a comedy'...

In language most problems don't have total solutions...

Journal Entry #4 Jan 23rd, 2016:

Came up with the motto "Esse Not Convalesce" for immortality.

Journal Entry #5 June 16, 2016:
It has been a year since I took the Telomerase pill, and I have not taken any

Oct 10, 2016

I may have transmuted a nickel partially into gold!  

Journal Entry #6 Oct 12th, 2016:
Chinese Verdegris, Day 1

First time ordering Jiaogulan, a substance a portion of which may mean
Ambergris in Japanese. It comes in dry tea form for as little as $12 including

My first reaction was not extreme, which is exactly what I wanted.

I sampled one small leaf by nibbling it, and then made a cup of tea.

It tasted delicious at first, and then seemed more bitter.

I still find it highly palatable.

After finishing a cup or two of tea, and nibbling more pieces (it looks like
some kind of Cretaceous plant that has been dried out, with larger, longer
flakes than ordinary tea), I looked for signs of improvement in my body.

At first the response was slow, which should be expected with herbs that
aren't enchanted.

I noticed, although I wasn't sure, that the varicose veins in my right shoulder
were disappearing when I viewed my shoulder under intense lamps in the

The next thing I noticed was that my skin seemed smoother and healthier than
before. Now I thought it was working!

I decided to get under the covers of my bed just in case the herb made me
hallucinate, so I wouldn't have to see weird colors. But when I looked at the
lamp near my bed, it just looked slightly more pink than normal, but nothing
extremely unusual.

I noticed a few other signs at this point (really only several minutes after I had
tried the herb): my eyesight had improved, creating clearer images, and my
heart rate had slowed, and now seemed more reasonable. Ordinarily recently
my heart rate has been totally out of whack.

I also noticed to my pleasure that I felt slightly naturally sleepy rather than
moody and tired, which meant I had undone some of the negative effects of
the previous drug.

Most importantly at this point, I did not feel over-energized. I felt instead
functionally normal. This came as a pleasant surprise, because the Jule of the
Orient product line that advertises the American version of the Jiaogulan had
the appearance of using similar marketing tactics to the company that sold the
slighty disappointing Telomerase product (which caused me to feel hyper for
a year straight). That was the reason I had ordered the cheapest version I
could find, which happened to be for $12 from Thailand (shipping included!)

Although I had a feeling of tranquility in my mind, it did not seem
unreasonable. Instead, it seemed like a natural progression of what I would
expect from drinking any kind of tea. It just so happened that I only found it
with this particular herb. A feeling of natural, not-overbearing tranquility which
I had never felt before, although it was still subtle enough that I could ignore it
if I wanted. Or at least I knew I could focus on other things. Probably part of
it was that I still wasn't sleeping much after taking that one pill of Telomerase
over a year ago.

Then I looked in the mirror again, and to my pleasure the varicose vein in my
shoulder had completely disappeared! I checked it over and over to make
sure. While the telomerase had only made the center of the vein disappear,
this herb made the entire vein disappear in a matter of minutes!

This was evidence that it could serve an anti-aging function, when combined
with the smooth skin effect.

So, I am still testing to make sure the substance is not addictive, which is one
of my 'final tests' of ambergris-like-substances. I will write extensively in the
future on my experiences with the herb, and record any disappointments or
setbacks in my quest for immortal life.

When I climbed the five flights of stairs to my apartment this evening, it made
my legs sore but I was not out of breath. It was just like it used to be when I
was 19 or 24! Almost easy!

Journal Entry #7 Oct. 13th, 2016:

Chinese Verdegris, Day 2

I have noticed the visible veins in my armpits disappearing. However, the
slight forks in my ankles have not disappeared, and the vein in my shoulder
has slightly re-appeared.

I have decided to take a break for a day to make sure it is not tobacco leaves.

Journal Entry #8 Oct. 13th, 2016:

Thailand (where my supply came from) is a major producer of Jiaogulan,
(jiaogulan dot com says that some of the tea they sell is Grade A) and
WebMD reports that Jiaogulan is good for cholesterol. So I am going to
keep taking it.

Journal Entry #9 Nov. 3rd, 2016:

Attempt to discriminate the immortal from the otherwise---

We enjoy time --- we're different from other people.

Journal Entry #10 January 6th, 2017:


I have taken Telomerase again, this time the newer Telomerase Plus.

It has been about a year and a half after taking my first pill.

The effect this time has been more subtle, probably because this version of
the supplement is less experimental.

There is no mildly elated feeling this time, and my muscles have not become
bulked up so much.

However, it is my pleasure to note that there WAS some effect on my
varicose vein in my shoulder immediately.

Maybe I am imagining it, but my face looks slightly more youthful, a little
sweatier, a little tighter.

There are some signs of mental confusion, however.

I am waiting a while longer to see if the effects are more extreme.


Seeing some signs of addiction. I have decided not to throw away the bottle,
and some signs of mental stress that were not present the first time I took the

Waiting to see if there are any other positive symptoms.

I have decided to take Jiaogulan, too, to try to get a compound benefit.

(Jiaogulan still seems mostly safe).


My lips are noticeably rosier.


I have noticed softer, more youthful skin on my forearms.

My sense of hearing seems to have improved.

There is some chance that it works with my natural mood. So, for example,
the first time I took it, I felt somewhat excited, and became happy. The
second time I took it I was worried that I was addicted, so I became sad.

My mood has been more elevated now that I have realized that it is
responding to my natural moods.

Journal Entry #11: April 2017 ---

Consumed one yellow Poplar leaf. Poplar trees are rumored to live up to
80,000 years. Cunningham's Magical Herbs lists it as mostly safe for

In small quantities this may make much of a great difference. However, forgot
to boil it this time.

I saw immediate benefits for my level of confidence and the authenticity of my
thoughts. However, I was sleepy for several days.